Really? How could ice cream be bad?
I'm still asking myself this very question. After all, it seemed to have everything going for it -- chocolate, cream, awesome raspberries. But, somehow, it just fell... well, flat. I'm still perplexed.
The sad story began on a Saturday in August. The raspberries were as close to perfection as they come -- big, ripe, juicy and local. We'd just procured them from the market, and had nibbled a few out of hand just to be sure. Sheer perfection so far as we could tell.
And we had a nice, fresh container of whipping cream, just begging to be made into something wonderful.
A bit of sugar, some cocoa powder -- the anticipation began to mount.
We cooked up all the good stuff on the stove until the sugar was fully dissolved, and then we took everything off of the heat and added those luscious raspberries to the mix. The pan sat on the stove, covered, for a while -- giving the raspberries just a smidge of time to soften.
And then everything went into the blender...
... where it was whipped into an oblivion.
It was gorgeous stuff -- light, fluffy, silky. It looked like a dream. We scraped it into a bowl, chilled it, and then gave it over to the ice cream machine.
It looked pretty perfect when it came out.
But the flavor?
Flat. Strange. Not-quite-right.
We tasted. And retasted. And scooped. And licked.
It didn't really get better.
But, we really HATE wasting food. So we made the best of things. It took us a number of weeks -- but we ate every last bit of the ice cream. The second round was "enhanced" with a bit of chocolate syrup (which made it passable). The third (and final) round accompanied a batch of seriously fudgy brownies (so good, we almost didn't notice the ice cream).
As you might have noticed, we were so disappointed, we didn't even take photos of the final product... but we did write a little bit of bad poetry.
Ode to Chocolate Raspberry Disappointment
Oh you -- brown creamy treat,
For which we had high hopes.
We sacrificed ripened fruit in your image.
We whipped you in our blender,
Praying for whirled peace.
In exchange, you gave us Brain Freeze.
And an appetite for disaster.
Cold and sweet, but not satisfying.
Like a winter day in August.
We masked you in chocolate syrup.
And still you would not satisfy.
Oh you -- brown creamy creamy treat,
You are not worthy of our pleasure.
Your looks deceive and taunt us.
Chocolate Expectation flaunts
What it can never hope to deliver.
Your whipped creamy goodness
Is but a facade.
And so, we sing of your deceit.
And warn our neighbors.
We spare even the landfill your presence --
And eat what we cannot savor.
©BURP! Where Food Happens